The Choice

Love is strong-er.

It is 2016.


Every time I encounter someone who doesn’t like people who are part of the LGBTQIA community, I’m flabbergasted. To make sense of them, I have to tell myself that they must, THEY MUST, be the last of their kind. There can’t possibly be people who hate for no reason anymore, right?


Meeting haters is one thing, but my mind is consistently blown by people who are ignorant, uneducated on the topic enough to assume that being gay or otherwise is a choice. Apparently there are still people in this world who believe that every person steps out of the womb and selects their sexual orientation as if it were an outfit to put on for a day.

Today, my encounter with a Christian woman was almost baffling. She just kept quietly referencing my “choices” as if I wasn’t going to catch what she was actually trying to say to me. I just stared back at her, giving her just enough rope to hang herself. She didn’t warrant a response, she wasn’t worth it.

Obviously there are a lot of people in the world who aren’t as advanced thinking as I am in terms of gender and sexuality. They’ve had their journey and I’ve had mine and we are not in the same place. This doesn’t make the ignorance easier to stomach, however. I mean, read a book–preferably one written in this century.

This brings me to my point: One doesn’t get to decide whether they are gay or straight. However, one does get to decided whether or not to be fabulous. And when I reference the word “fabulous” I don’t mean whatever has popped into your mind. I’m not saying, as a gay man, you have to wear your cashmere and clutch your pearls. No. While this may be your authentic truth, that’s fine, but the true meaning of fabulous is something different.

To make the decision to proudly own who you are is a hero-ing task that not everyone in the world is brave enough to do or in a position that allows them to do so. Making the choice to be fabulous is making the choice to own who you are, to be unapologetically yourself, despite what onlookers and naysayers may seem to think. The choice is to live your life out loud, with great fanfare. That’s what being fabulous is all about. It’s about living your life the best you can, everyday. It’s about accepting every little sliver of yourself, not putting too much pressure on any one part of you. Even the parts other people have trouble with, own them, defend them when you have to. And sure, if you want to don the rainbow and head to a parade, there’s nothing wrong with that either. Just be you.

Just do you.

I hope I don’t have to waste time writing posts like this in the future, but here’s to every small step we each take.


One thought on “The Choice

  1. People hate for all kinds of “no reason whatsoever”. Anything or anybody not from their (preceived) tribe. I find it far easier just to ignore them and go my own way. What they think doesn’t matter to me one whit. Never has, never will. The only approval I need is my own. I also don’t feel the need to push my tribe on them. Less friction that way. I simply do what I want.

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