Begin Again, Right Now

“A relationship is reborn whenever we see someone as they are right now and don’t hold them to who they were.” –Marianne Williamson

Every moment is a chance to start over. At least, that’s what I try to tell myself. It’s not that everything from my past needs to be torn down and reconstructed, but the gentle reminder that each day, each minute can be a platform for beginning again is so important. My main focus, for now, relationship wise is the boys that I work with and around on a daily basis. Teenagers and pre-teens are in a funny phase of their lives, so, I need to remain open to starting anew on a daily basis. And, because I’m recognizing this, I know that my road through the next few months will be easier. I have to be open to forgiveness on a moment-to-moment basis when it comes to the kids in the school I work in, both in my class and the surrounding classes. One day (sorry, one hour) a boy will be angrier than I’ve ever seen him before, he’ll be disruptive and disrespectful, and then, the next hour, he’s wrapping his arms around my waste, trying to get me to hug him in forgiveness. “Please forgive me, Sir.”

Perhaps, more difficultly than the boys I work closely with, I have to also attempt to maintain some sort of relationship with the older boys, who attend school off of the grounds of the orphanage and are only around at certain times. I find it so tough to navigate the waters of these teenagers. One day, they seem open to conversation and the next, it’s like they couldn’t get far enough away from me. In general, I take the approach that the second grade teacher offered up to me: “In Guyana, you have to say ‘well, whatever’ to a whole lot of stuff.” That’s my motto I guess. Shrug it off. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but I’ll try not to hold this strange, disheartening moment against you. We’ll start anew whenever you’re ready. We’ll aim to be reborn the next time I see you.

Freeze this moment. Take a picture of it. It’s a happy moment. It’s one of a string of moments, most of which, all of the occupants are happy in.

Eh, that’s all I got.

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